My Cup runneth over

If someone you love has cancer or is suffering in some other way, you might feel like your cup is spilling over,  with ideas and fears about what the future holds – like tea on the floor.  May you be able to close your eyes and find a way to empty your cup.  For when we empty ourselves, we make space for compassion to pour in.  And this is the greatest help of all.

This was the Radio Two pause for thought this morning by Simon Cohen and was sent to me by a dear Friend and was in a small way an explanation of the difficulty those around you face when dealing with the diagnosis of a loved one with Cancer.

The simile with the cup is something that I can relate to right now. I’ve been asked a number of times when the blog will be back or when I will return to the Twittoshpere and my reticence has been that my cup is overflowing.

I have been and am having difficulty processing how I feel about having been diagnosed with Cancer for the third time.  I’ve talked of fear before and that emotion I think has now subsided but my bucket of thoughts is awash with others – acceptance, confusion, denial, guilt, negativity, vulnerability.  And then the questions as well:  Is this a sign?  Should I be doing something with my life more meaningful? Is this an opportunity?  What lesson should I be learning this time?

I read the other day that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle well if that is the case, and for those of you that don’t believe in a higher power bear with me, I’d like to know what I can cope with because this one is testing my resolve somewhat.

Now I may also be feeling more vulnerable than I have previously because I got made redundant a month ago as well (Yeah Cheers for that, talk about getting a kick when you’re already down) and it’s a powerful negative combination for your body to have let you down and feeling physically vulnerable and then being told that you are superfluous at work as well.  You could say the perfect storm of negativity.

I don’t have the answers and in some ways I’m not even sure there are answers there certainly isn’t a best way for everyone to deal with these emotions.  I do know that all I am going to try and do is to slowly empty my own mug of muddledness and regain my equilibrium and learn to thrive again.

Survivors have to find their own way to answer their own questions but for your loved ones that isn’t going to help, they want to solve they want to make better but are powerless or believe they are.  Remind them in the nicest way they love you to empty their own cups of thoughts and solutions and be prepared to offer support and compassion instead and a vessel for some of your own outpourings.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Maria says:

    You always were so eloquent, even when you uttered those 1st words to me about starting an earthquake..
    Hang on in there my old friend, even people that you’ve not seen for years still care about you, probably more than you know..
    Shall we start a ballroom dancing school?

    1. I think that a Ball Room dancing school would be fantastic, there would be a terrible result in that we would be turning out ball dancers that can only turn in one direction though.

      Thank you for getting in touch though and reading this blog.


  2. Henrike says:

    Wow, that’s an awful lot to handle, Jonathan. Personally, I don’t believe in the “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” bit, although I’m Catholic, and this has been mentioned to me on numerous occasions. I do believe sometimes cancer and other life events are more than we can handle, but we do our best to work our way through it, anyway. But that’s just me.

    I agree with the thoughts about our loved ones wholeheartedly. Wish I could give you a big hug or say anything that’d magically make it all better – but I can’t. All I can say is that while I can’t relate on the job front (as I’m still in school thanks to dear cancer), I was dumbed after my 2nd diagnosis – so at least I understand the being kicked when you’re down part. You are not alone – and I hope your loved ones also have someone to talk to and receive some sort of emotional support from (if not, Imerman Angels also have mentor angels for caregivers/loved ones).

    Sending millions of yellow hugs!!!

  3. missp77 says:

    Just take every day and slowly but surely things will fix, hugs xx

  4. safi4775 says:

    May you always find enough peace to hear if there are indeed questions or answers so that you can thrive as you would wish.

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