If someone you love has cancer or is suffering in some other way, you might feel like your cup is spilling over, with ideas and fears about what the future holds – like tea on the floor. May you be able to close your eyes and find a way to empty your cup. For when we empty ourselves, we make space for compassion to pour in. And this is the greatest help of all.
This was the Radio Two pause for thought this morning by Simon Cohen and was sent to me by a dear Friend and was in a small way an explanation of the difficulty those around you face when dealing with the diagnosis of a loved one with Cancer.
The simile with the cup is something that I can relate to right now. I’ve been asked a number of times when the blog will be back or when I will return to the Twittoshpere and my reticence has been that my cup is overflowing.
I have been and am having difficulty processing how I feel about having been diagnosed with Cancer for the third time. I’ve talked of fear before and that emotion I think has now subsided but my bucket of thoughts is awash with others – acceptance, confusion, denial, guilt, negativity, vulnerability. And then the questions as well: Is this a sign? Should I be doing something with my life more meaningful? Is this an opportunity? What lesson should I be learning this time?
I read the other day that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle well if that is the case, and for those of you that don’t believe in a higher power bear with me, I’d like to know what I can cope with because this one is testing my resolve somewhat.
Now I may also be feeling more vulnerable than I have previously because I got made redundant a month ago as well (Yeah Cheers for that, talk about getting a kick when you’re already down) and it’s a powerful negative combination for your body to have let you down and feeling physically vulnerable and then being told that you are superfluous at work as well. You could say the perfect storm of negativity.
I don’t have the answers and in some ways I’m not even sure there are answers there certainly isn’t a best way for everyone to deal with these emotions. I do know that all I am going to try and do is to slowly empty my own mug of muddledness and regain my equilibrium and learn to thrive again.
Survivors have to find their own way to answer their own questions but for your loved ones that isn’t going to help, they want to solve they want to make better but are powerless or believe they are. Remind them in the nicest way they love you to empty their own cups of thoughts and solutions and be prepared to offer support and compassion instead and a vessel for some of your own outpourings.